failed.

So I go to the doctor's office today.

It's my appendix, most likely.
tomorrow, if it feels bad still, then I'll get test or something like that.

Why today was such a fail.
1. Didn't really accomplish anything at the doctor's office other than establishing that there was something wrong.
2. Urine test...as I pull my pants down to pee, my phone drops from my back pocket, and into the toilet. The good...it still works. Still sucked though.
3.Cheer practice felt absolutely pointless today. like nothing got accomplished.
4. My side hurts, and is warmer on the hurting side. There is something wrong for sure, it's just a matter of time when it gets real bad.


I feel weak and unwell....and my head is really starting to hurt.
NOT awesome dude.

New years eve...

and I'm home. writing blogs. eating pizza rolls.

my parents aren't letting me go out.
I have the flu, and it's ruining my life.



can I get a "aww hell naw."


I'm pissed to say the least.

How I feel today.

I feel down.
and I mean, like, DOWN.


I need a pick me up.
But Really, I need a sign.
Tell me which direction to go. Where to stick my size 7 foot next.

I'm so confused as to what to do about EVERYTHING lately
and so many roadblocks have just put themselves in my way.


I just want everything to be right.
to happen. The way it's suppose to happen.


I believe in simplicity, and as the days pass, I get farther and farther from that concept.
I know what's good for me. and what I should do. But I don't want to fall into routine.
I don't want to be ordinary, or play by all the rules.
I'm kinda a rebel. And yeah, it may get me into trouble, and not make sense, but it's what makes me feel like i'm actually getting somewhere.
Playing by the rules never really gave me too much of a thrill.
I need a thrill. A high. And perhaps a few thermals because the weather is getting super cold.

=D
Hey, November, you SUCK!
I"m just saying, October is normally my month of sucking, and right now, I'm thinking that October had way more kick ass points than November has. It's not over yet, so i'm hoping something GOOD, GREAT, BITCHIN' will happen, and make me forget the sucking that has been so far.

Uncomfortable?

Doesn't happen to me.
Tonight, which I will not speak of at this point and time, would have been something most people would feel uncomfortable with, and Me, shameless me, blew it off. siiiiiiick.

Unless you stare at me, then I feel real uncomfortable.


What does make me comfortable, is making others uncomfortable.
like, the other day.
Heppard and I went on this long adventure to get some food and coffee on a gusty day. So my hair is strategically placed in a side pony, and my big glasses that look like real ones are on, and I'm wearing big baggy clothes to keep me warm.

We're eating in McDonald's, when I notice a kid outside throwing a fit.
So I decided to mess with him a little bit.
He comes inside, but doesn't leave the door area. So I stare at him. Intensely, and smile real big.
Our eyes meet, and at first he doesn't think i'm staring, but then, suddenly, he knows it, and looks away real quick and I laugh quietly to myself, not to give away that my stares aren't serious. So he keeps looking back at me, to see if I'm still looking at him. Of course I do this until his departure. He was soooo uncomfortable, and creeped out, that I almost got a high off of it. It was goood. I thoroughly enjoyed giving this kid something to think about when he was on his car ride home, instead of throwing another fit.

Kids=THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST!

Michael Berry. The Man. The Myth. The Legend

7/21/2009
4:46 PM
live love ride:
hi
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
Anna:
hi.
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
live love ride:
whats up
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
Anna:
Just got home from a day out with my mom.
I'm tired. lol
……………………………………………………………………
4:52 PM
live love ride:
lol
what did u 2 do
……………………………………………………………………
4:53 PM
Anna:
Shopping for stuffffff. I'm going to cheer camp tomorrow, so I had to get some stuff.
……………………………………………………………………
4:53 PM
live love ride:
damn =)
thats hot
expecally when ur very pertty
……………………………………………………………………
5:02 PM
live love ride:
dont wana talk
……………………………………………………………………
5:07 PM
Anna:
Oh, sorry, I was talking with my mom.
ummmm, thanks?..
……………………………………………………………………
5:07 PM
live love ride:
i just wana go crazy with cheerleaders
while they r in their uniform
……………………………………………………………………
5:08 PM
Anna:
Hmmm. okay.
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 PM
live love ride:
fuck them hard o fuck yay
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 PM
Anna:
I'm unfomfortable.
bye.
……………………………………………………………………
5:10 PM
live love ride:
what?
……………………………………………………………………
5:11 PM
Anna:
uncomfortable***
……………………………………………………………………
5:11 PM
live love ride:
dont u want it
……………………………………………………………………
5:12 PM
Anna:
no. No i don't.
……………………………………………………………………
5:14 PM
live love ride:
lol sorry i was in the mood XD
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
Anna:
bye.
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
live love ride:
why
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
Anna:
i'm uncomfortable.
I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
live love ride:
what kinda cheerleader r u =/
……………………………………………………………………
5:20 PM
live love ride:
anna
?
……………………………………………………………………
5:35 PM
Anna:
I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:35 PM
live love ride:
rnt u a cheerleader tho
……………………………………………………………………
5:36 PM
Anna:
Yes, but I don't feel like talking. Regardless of what activities I partisipate in, I still don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:36 PM
live love ride:
to me or any1
……………………………………………………………………
5:37 PM
Anna:
What does it matter? I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:37 PM
live love ride:
=/
im sorry
i just thought u were like that
becuz ur gona b a cheerleader
=/
……………………………………………………………………
5:38 PM
Anna:
fuck off.
……………………………………………………………………
5:38 PM
live love ride:
k



Well, i guess i wasn't warned that people were going to have a preconceived notion about me now....but seriously? I use to work with this guy. Before we worked together, he sent me a message on myspace about 3 or 4 months prior, and called me a border hopper, and I didn't even know him. This was the first time that I had ever been racially discriminated against. Hell, I didn't even know people could tell i was half mexican. Cut me deep, but I decided, "hey, I work with this guy, I'm not going to shun him for the rest of his life, it's not my nature. I'll forgive him."
and now, he thinks we're friends and sends me IM's on Myspace like this.
Hey dude, YOU'RE IGNORANT AND FOLLOW STEREO TYPES WAY TOO MUCH. Get educated about the world around you.

For the record, I didn't think that people became cheerleaders to "do it" with some guy to help him live out his fantasy. If this is the case, don't include me in this statistic.

4th of july.

bad for the environment...really bad for it. Bad for OUR economy. But it's SOOOO pretty. Last night, this is what I did for 4th of july.

Stockton. I was headed for the water front, when everyone was going the other direction. I don't know if it was because they were over there, or if they canceled them, but we just followed the crowd...to the ghetto...and saw bunches of illegal fireworks from a ramp. People were bumpin' their gangsta rap tunes from their Cadillac and just shooting off their own. Let me tell you, it was better than I expected. Like, an hour of non-stop fireworks. SIIIICK. i wonder how they got that much money, because I know that it must have been quite expensive, just as anything is, but to privately fund your own fireworks...that's hard. Sooo, I'm thinkin' it wasn't a bad idea to do this.

Oh, I also went to a bbq with family then Hep came over...
=D

grrrr.

Hmmm. I feel weird.
Things feel weird. I don't know what it is.
I'm unsure of what's going on at the moment, what I'm doing, and where I'm going.
I like to have a plan. I like to know why I do what I do, and why I feel the way I do,
but lately, there is none of that going on. Unlike me. One moment i'm at an all time high, then I'm down and feel like curling up with a good book and just cuddle with teddy freddy and waste my day away. I'm not thinking anything through lately and I know it's going to get me into a world of trouble, but since I'm not know what's going on, I'm not caring either.


This is bad. I feel weird. cool. I don't know what I have to do to get over it, but It's going to happen.

I fudged up.

fml.
I fucked up my car.
Took off the front bumper.
I cried for a few. When I see the dent I left after reattaching it, I get really sad.
I hate my driveway. I hate the fence I hit. I hate that I have two cars in my half a drive way.
Hmmmmm. My parents aren't mad, but I am.


set back in getting awesome....getting stupid for making the car ugly.

today.

Uhhhh, fuckin' bomb dude.
Out of class for three periods.
Princessssss.
Piñatas.
Prom's close.
the weather had sun!
and I think I'm going to start getting HOT soon.


I can't describe today really, it was just great. Just what I wanted. I can't help but sing. My soul is happy.