Heavy thinking.

I really should read through these. Here I am, thinking about stuff on my way home and talking with Hep about life and boys and girls and craziness, and I think back to a previous blog I wrote.

about my dream guy.
There's that guy that EVERYONE seems to want me to date. Nice guy. Really nice guy. But since everyone was pushing him on me, I was more reluctant to push him away. But then hector puts it to me like this.
"wow, look at the other guys you dated. Seriously, they were douches! Why did they deserve a chance with you and he does when he's so much better than them."
then I though. There is NO GOOD REASON for me not to. Like, none. Why am I being dumb? What happened to trying new things and becoming bitchin? Dude, I need to live my life. Do something different with it. Experience all that I can.


what if he's the guy? the dream guy? I said myself "it's not going to be someone that I automatically fall head over heels for, but it's someone that I will grow to love out of nowhere really"

Come on anna. Think hard! what's your next move?

Disrespected.

Me? Of all people to disrespect.
I don't understand.

My friends, well, not even, my brother's friends asked if they could come to tag, and I said I didn't like it, but they came over. So the agreement was that they would park someone unrelated to me, and go, but then I said that I didn't like it. I didn't want them doing it around here. but this is what followed.

The guy brought his pregnant girlfriend. I invited her inside. Things go all dandy, except I'm tired and fall alseep before she leaves. When I wake up, my brother tells me that they Tagged my next door neighbor's house. WOW. FUCKIN" REALLY?
If I say I don't want it to be around my house, alright. There is plenty of fuckin PUBLIC SHIT you can tag, not people's fences. Especially right next door. I feel so much anger right now it's weird. I don't get angry like this.

This guy that is the ring leader of it all. FUCK. I use to think of him as a good, well, alright guy. But not anymore. And it's not only this that's making me think this way about him now. He's been real bad with everything lately, and here I am, trying to stay out of the whole fucking over a lot of people I know, but not anymore. I'm not going to put his dirt on blast because I once looked at him like a brother, but wow, he's no longer allowed in my fuckin' house again. Around it. Nothing.

My lesson from this. People who you once think to be great can change. All it takes is drugs, cheating, a loss of identity, and a breaking point. After that, they're not coming back, so don't expect them to respect you or anything else that is thought to be common sense.

Hey...you look kinda cute.

So this is real. Yeah. My uniform.


weird? that's right. I'll have better ones up when I really have to wear it.

=]

Cheer Camp.

Different. I don't think I've ever had to be around girls so much.
it was a refreashing change. I don't know if I'd like it FOREVER, but for now it's not bad.

But anyway....I have a cheer outfit(s) now, and I have to say it makes it a little more real for me. I AM doing this. I AM doing the unexpected. I AM learning about different interactions already. I congratulate myself for saying positive, even if I'm scared as hell.


Guess what. I'll have a treat for you SOON!
Possibly...A PICTURE of me in the outfit. It'll make it real for you too!
=]
Good to be home where I can blog when I want to.
did a lot of thinking while I was gone....have some gooood topics to discuss and research.

Michael Berry. The Man. The Myth. The Legend

7/21/2009
4:46 PM
live love ride:
hi
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
Anna:
hi.
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
live love ride:
whats up
……………………………………………………………………
4:46 PM
Anna:
Just got home from a day out with my mom.
I'm tired. lol
……………………………………………………………………
4:52 PM
live love ride:
lol
what did u 2 do
……………………………………………………………………
4:53 PM
Anna:
Shopping for stuffffff. I'm going to cheer camp tomorrow, so I had to get some stuff.
……………………………………………………………………
4:53 PM
live love ride:
damn =)
thats hot
expecally when ur very pertty
……………………………………………………………………
5:02 PM
live love ride:
dont wana talk
……………………………………………………………………
5:07 PM
Anna:
Oh, sorry, I was talking with my mom.
ummmm, thanks?..
……………………………………………………………………
5:07 PM
live love ride:
i just wana go crazy with cheerleaders
while they r in their uniform
……………………………………………………………………
5:08 PM
Anna:
Hmmm. okay.
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 PM
live love ride:
fuck them hard o fuck yay
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 PM
Anna:
I'm unfomfortable.
bye.
……………………………………………………………………
5:10 PM
live love ride:
what?
……………………………………………………………………
5:11 PM
Anna:
uncomfortable***
……………………………………………………………………
5:11 PM
live love ride:
dont u want it
……………………………………………………………………
5:12 PM
Anna:
no. No i don't.
……………………………………………………………………
5:14 PM
live love ride:
lol sorry i was in the mood XD
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
Anna:
bye.
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
live love ride:
why
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
Anna:
i'm uncomfortable.
I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 PM
live love ride:
what kinda cheerleader r u =/
……………………………………………………………………
5:20 PM
live love ride:
anna
?
……………………………………………………………………
5:35 PM
Anna:
I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:35 PM
live love ride:
rnt u a cheerleader tho
……………………………………………………………………
5:36 PM
Anna:
Yes, but I don't feel like talking. Regardless of what activities I partisipate in, I still don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:36 PM
live love ride:
to me or any1
……………………………………………………………………
5:37 PM
Anna:
What does it matter? I don't feel like talking.
……………………………………………………………………
5:37 PM
live love ride:
=/
im sorry
i just thought u were like that
becuz ur gona b a cheerleader
=/
……………………………………………………………………
5:38 PM
Anna:
fuck off.
……………………………………………………………………
5:38 PM
live love ride:
k



Well, i guess i wasn't warned that people were going to have a preconceived notion about me now....but seriously? I use to work with this guy. Before we worked together, he sent me a message on myspace about 3 or 4 months prior, and called me a border hopper, and I didn't even know him. This was the first time that I had ever been racially discriminated against. Hell, I didn't even know people could tell i was half mexican. Cut me deep, but I decided, "hey, I work with this guy, I'm not going to shun him for the rest of his life, it's not my nature. I'll forgive him."
and now, he thinks we're friends and sends me IM's on Myspace like this.
Hey dude, YOU'RE IGNORANT AND FOLLOW STEREO TYPES WAY TOO MUCH. Get educated about the world around you.

For the record, I didn't think that people became cheerleaders to "do it" with some guy to help him live out his fantasy. If this is the case, don't include me in this statistic.

Braaaaa.

Okay, so when I was trying to get hot, there was one thing that guys told me hot girls had, and that was BIG TITS.
Well, we all no I lack in that department. So i started to ask them guys i asked about "enhancers" such as a water bra, wonder bra, and the push-up bra. Pretty much they told me it was a disappointment. Well, the other day I was shopping for a new bra or two, and I tried on a push-up. Can i just say, wow, it changed my life. I've never tried one on because what if I did and I liked it....well I did like it. Hmmm. Now, should I buy one, and make people think mine are perkier than they really are, or should I just be real?


Boooo! why am i faced with such STUPID questions.

You like me?

I don't understand when guys you don't really know say "Hey, I like you!"
Huuuuuuuuh?
Based on what? I think it's for all the wrong reasons if you like me based off of my looks, or how you would expect me to act, or whatever.


Now this may just be me, but I think Hey, no, you don't like ME...you may like something about me, but not me, personally, because how could you?

Ahhhh, dumb.