the next chapter

Reguardless of how we got there, we're trying again. The nest chapter started in September, the 14th, but we claim the 12th. We have our history, and like always, i'm really trying to work past it, but so is he. There are times that we laugh, times when tears still fall from my eyes, but i love him just the same, and my heart's been damaged, a few times too much, however some how I picked up, and I'm doing just fine.

We still talk of the events, the complications that followed, the things we'll only share, but now talked about with emotions more hollowed. Because we still struggle and reach to what can be grasped, but this time we're more careful, more equipped for the task. And even though it's been anything but easy, not anything worth bragging about, we're still trekking on. And maybe sometimes we may ask why we do it, why we're willing to go to such lengths, and sometimes it may not be always answered, but sometimes it is answered, and i'm sure our answers are very different, but we're here, so they must have some worth.

The truth is, if our path laid ahead of us is long, if we remain together even through this, then we'll know it wasn't all for nothing. Because this chapter, perhaps our hardest, the make it or break it chapter, this is where we are. We will have good days, like we consistently had before, and we'll have bad days, something new and unlike we've ever dealt with. You may get asked why you're with a "nerd," "band geek" or whatever social stigmas i may carry with me, and i might get asked why I stay with someone who did the unimaginable, but as long as we're not too embarrassed about these things, these things that may raise eyebrows and confuse us and others, then we'll be in pretty alright shape. My heart, as always, is still for you, and I know you know that, because I've proved it time and time again.

Our story still continues, despite everything, including my predictions, and I'm willing to stick around for the next chapter, to write out our next chapter, provided you are too.

Marcus Gonzales, I love you, and I don't know what else to say, and I don't know how else to feel. Every day of your life, i hope you haven't even the slightest doubt in your mind, because I know I don't. this IS life for me, and I can't say I didn't pick it.