worth.

So today, I was really thinking, when you make a mistake, something that's obviously not right for you, and there's nothing you can do to make things better, why do you ask "was it really worth it?" I rarely want to go back in time to fix things, but as of right now, i think I might do it if I could right now. Now I know you're smart enough to know it's not possible to do so, but I really would love to know how it would alter who I am now. Would I be more happy? Would others be more happy? I'll never know, but i feel like I messed up. My ex and I, well, things are rough in my opinion. I just want to be cool again, but it seems like I can't escape the reality, which is that we are ex's, and friendship isn't always welcomed. I don't even know what to say about our relationship as of now.

So here's the thing, when people are important to you, how do you keep from messing it up. I feel I messed up, but at the same time, I really liked that it happened. I learned so much about myself, about him, about life, and about everything. However, I feel like it was a big mistake when i feel I can't even talk to him anymore. I know it wasn't bad, and I hope he knows that too, but I just wish it could be normal. I'm really thankful that he's still in my life, but I don't know, it's also a slap in the face because it reminds me of how we use to be. Not as in the relationship like, kissing and stuff, but as in me being able to talk to him about stuff, being able to chill with him no problem, being able to walk around together without people asking me "are you guys getting back together?"

So worth....when people ask me if it was worth putting everything on the line, my answer is always yes. I wouldn't take it back for anything. Sincerely, I apologize if You, my ex, don't feel the same way and would want to go back, but I couldn't imagine my life now without it.

we may no longer be best friends, but you're still one of my favorite people ever, when you're being nice. =]