Creative writing.

my favorite class this year probably.
I really enjoy it. totally awesome.
This is something I wrote in that class one day.
Of course, i touched it up a bit.

Dear Almost.
I might have taken a chance if any possibility had remained. Even if it would have weighed out to be little to none, I'm certain I would have gone for it, or maybe even still go for it. Although now, a less naive girl than I once was, would be more hesitant to take such a chance.

I might have taken a chance if I felt that you wanted me, the way that I wanted you. There was a time, when we were both on the same page, and all the oddly shaped pieces that were our lives, seemed to just work, fall into place. However, that was then, and this is now, and all those pieces have come detached, lonely, and out of place.

I had always had hope for us. Not a day went by without a love song to tease my ears, and I was stuck thinking about you, and how if all those pieces did fall into place once more, these songs would no longer taunt my heart, but be fond reminders of what I had.
We thrived in my dreams.You were that no-op parked in my heart. I had paid the price to keep you there. Sacrificed possibilities of what I could have had, all because I had you, even if I really didn't. You kept me in on weekends. You kept me home from dates. You kept me on my stoop, awaiting your arrival, despite the distance.

Then our fate took an unsuspecting turn, for even worse. You told me you were to move even farther, thousands of miles, and as my speechless lips couldn't seem to touch, due to my jaw being on the floor from shock. As I manually bring them together with my hands, i just keep telling myself not to cry. You went from semi-intangible, to completely out of the question. And that wouldn't change, not even if I had cried all the tears humanly possible.

Currently, you are being you, somewhere new, and I'm here, being me, but missing a chunk that I had once called hope, and I know we don't talk anymore, but I don't know why you don't attempt it. Maybe you wonder the same thing. Maybe we don't talk for the same reasons. We're afraid. Afraid to think about something that could be great, but isn't possible.You're the last person I want to see at my door, and the holidays and summer scare me for this reason. I hope you forget to drop by, like you have before, and have lost hope like me. If you do feel like I do, i'm sorry because I know how bad it feels to have your heart squeezed at someone else's unintentional mercy. I wish that upon no one, but especially not you.

Always, missing you.

Pretty sad. It made me sad writing it.