With my down time

I've been doing a lot of thinking.
about who I am, where I'm going, who I'm going with, all that stuff.
Well, I'm not happy with it.

I've built up my life to be something I don't like.
So here I am, trying to change it.


I think I'm a tease. I'm afraid of not getting the timing right on things. I don't think I will make a good girlfriend. I'm pretty sad. I feel like a terrible person. I feel alone all the time. This was not me...and I don't like it.

it's time for a change. Who I'll be, well, who know? Who i'll be with, I don't know that either. How i'm getting there? Not a clue. I'm just going to drop everything...reinvent who I think I am and what I stand for. To tell you the truth, for once in my life I'm really afraid of what's going to happen, and I mean really afraid.