Accepted.

I got accepted to someplace kinda far from my home.
Far from everything I know.
Far from My family.
Far from my friends.
Far from my life.

So I can go, and do what I've always wanted to do and just get out there and start learning about people and interacting with them, and being new, and scared and feeling things I haven't before. This is possible for me now. I can go, and build my life around myself, or I can stay, and add to the life I've already built for myself. I don't know what to do, because I have about a month to decide. I have one month to decide what I'll be doing for a year starting 5 months from when I make my decision. Wow, that was poorly worded, but I don't know how to say it. But in about march, I'll have to say if I'm going or not, give an answer, but from that point, school doesn't start for another 5 months. 5 months is a lot of time for something life changing to happen, for something to happen that will make me want to stay, or for something to happen that will make me want to leave.

I guess what it boils down to is weather I want to go out and live, or put life on hold. If I leave, I know i'll be truly living, and growing up, and becoming independent, like I've long for for so long. If I don't leave, I'm only holding off on growing up, because it'll have to happen someday. Someday, I'll have to leave my house, I'll have to rebuild my life around new surroundings, I'll have to grow up and just live. I'm not sure if I'm ready for life. I'm just a little girl, 17, braces, dependent on those around me, waiting for the right time to branch out. My mom thinks I'm ready, and maybe I can do it, i just have a lot of thinking to do.

My favorite.

My mom. If you don't know, I'm very close with my mom, and I mean super close with my mom. I don't keep secrets, I don't lie, and I don't fight with her. She's my everything at this point. I really do believe with everything that there is no one who loves my mom more than me. I simply don't think it's possible. I love my mom more than anyone, anything,and everything. Someday, I really hope that I can be as great of a mom as she is. My mom is very modest, but I feel she's the best mom I can ever ask for. It's so pleasing to call her my mom, and I don't know if I'll ever love anyone more than my mom.

Today, I stayed home from school, just so I can chill with her. i've been so busy lately, I've missed her, and she misses me. I don't know if I can move away from her for too long ever. She's like my best friend, but closer.

.5 or .7?

The worlds oldest school question.


I'm just saying, it seems like everytime you ask for .5, everyone only has .7
but when you need .7, everyone only has .5


that SUCKS so hard.
I just find it to be funny that that always seems to happen.

Seems like

Mother Nature is taking a piss on California right now.

When I think of California, I think of trees, sunlight, and weather above 70 degrees, beaches that aren't closed, and shorts.

Well, as you can tell, currently this depiction of California is far from what we have now.

The worst part is having school when it's like this. If I didn't have to hike around school, I'd be fine, then the rain wouldn't bother me, but right now, it's no fun, especially since one of my classes are across the street, so the endless puddles and lakes that are now forming are killing me because there is no way around it.

Let's just stay at home on rainy days? I think so.
it's definitely the perfect day to be lazy and watch movies or something, but I have no luck there. Thanks cheerleading and school.

failed.

So I go to the doctor's office today.

It's my appendix, most likely.
tomorrow, if it feels bad still, then I'll get test or something like that.

Why today was such a fail.
1. Didn't really accomplish anything at the doctor's office other than establishing that there was something wrong.
2. Urine test...as I pull my pants down to pee, my phone drops from my back pocket, and into the toilet. The good...it still works. Still sucked though.
3.Cheer practice felt absolutely pointless today. like nothing got accomplished.
4. My side hurts, and is warmer on the hurting side. There is something wrong for sure, it's just a matter of time when it gets real bad.


I feel weak and unwell....and my head is really starting to hurt.
NOT awesome dude.

awesome.

My side hurts, like, it's getting intense.

It's warmer on that side of my body, and it's on the lower right side of my abdomen.

Possibilities:
Ovarian problem.
Appendicitis


Let's hope for neither.

I'm going to the doctor's in a few minutes, right before cheer.
Well, fml.

My concerns

are dwindling.
I can't say I'm not still cautions, or have my moments when I doubt everything I trust to be true, but i'm feeling differently about how I view my situations and the people in my life. I feel like a big wall has just been shattered, and i have a new side of me, the side of me that's been aching to come out, is exposed and ready to overflow.

I feel like a dumb girl, but it's a good kinda dumb girl.
oh man, my generalizations shed no light into what this is exactly referring to, but that's okay, because I want it to be general.

In general, this is how I'm feeling.
and it's good.

Youth and Revolt.

So I wish everyone talked like they did in this movie.
all proper with the use of an extensive vocabulary.
I would be much happier and I'm sure the rest of the world would be better off.

Anyway, this movie wasn't packed full of action.
It wasn't rediculously funny.
It wasn't too much of anything.
But I enjoyed it.


I think it's becuase I think Michael Cera is THE MOST ADORABLE!
I swear, he is like my celebrity crush. I think I would want to be his girlfriend ANYTIME. He's just so dang cute and awkward...and everyone knows that's Annas Favorite thing ever...others being awkward. I think it's because it makes me feel less awkward.


Heyyy, go watch it. It was ridiculous.

worried.

Well, I'm worried all the nice words that make me say "aweee" are only to make me say that, and are not backed up with reality.


I need to stop.
I need to live normal.

Hey....NO!

Hoooochie mama.

So I'm at work.
And I'm helping this guy out, like I'm suppose to because I'm at work and customer service is key.

The order is almost done, Nachos and a small coke.
as I'm putting the lid on the coke, he asks me...
"Aren't you Matt's girlfriend?"
My eyes widen, my face loses all expression, and I slowly shake my head and say "No...I am not"
and then he replies with
"Oh, because you're marcus's girlfriend now, right?"
and my eyes get kinda squinty, because I have no clue who this guy is, and I don't think I've ever seen him before in my life and follow it with a
"uhhhh, no"

"oh, so you just talk to all these guys?"
"I guess I do"

later, as I hand back his change, I say "Wow, you really know how to make me sound like a hoochie"

How embarrassing.
thanks man.

I'm still curious as to who this guy is...and how he knew so much. Kinda creepy though. I'm going to make it a point to meet with this guy again and find out how he became so knowledgeable. And if he is so knowledgeable, why he phrased it that way knowing all the events that took place in between.

Oh anna preston...

Thought.

some things will never be the same.

and some things will never change.


once we accept this, we have truly reached enlightenment.


I'm trying to get there.