You know what

I kinda feel older today.
not so little.
despite some lady thinking I was only 14.
uhhh, yeah...it's the braces.

I realized that in a few short months, I will be able to get into REAL trouble.
fun. Makes me feel dangerous. Edgy. "I cannn break the law, and END UP IN JAIL, but I'll choose to have freedom...but i COULD go to jail if I want"

So I was thinking.
This year, went by SO fast. I feel like yesterday I was at Samantha's house, wondering why nico jumped in the pool in January/December. But it feels good for it to have gone by so fast. I like it. I really feel like I"m going somewhere, even if I've decided to probably just stay home forever.
I"m really not ready to go out anywhere. Not ready at all. But who knows, that doesn't have to stop me.

So I think that I'm very grown up lately. Matured. Kinda, just older. I feel I'm ready for things I didn't think i was ready for before. I think that I learned so pretty sick lessons this year. I think I found a ME that's worth while, despite my down times here and there.

I like being nice. It's just me, and no matter how many times I get put down for it, I know someday, it'll be worth while. And if it's not, I'll still be satisfied being who I wanted to be, because it IS me and what I"m about.

I've come to realize that I don't really pick the best guys. And I know this. I don't know what I'm going to do about this, but realizing it is the first step. Sure, I'm young, how do I expect to pick someone to last forever with. The thing is, I don't, but I'm still picking some pretty dumb choices.

I know I like to be different every once in a while. Do something new. be someone different. I like variety. So, with that in mind, I will embrace the opportunities that come my way, and roll with it. I'll make all the decisions I want to make, and not make the ones I don't want to. I don't do things for others, I do for myself and what i think will benefit me in the best way. Yes, it sounds selfish, but how am I going to make others happy if I can't make myself.

I'm pretty awesome. I say I'm lame, but there is no way that I could be way lame if I have all these great people in my life. It's just not possible. So I'm doing something right...and I don't know what it is, but I think that's my favorite part. Figuring it out would be useless, because it would just go to my head.

I have some amazing people in my life. Really.

I like a lot of indie sad music. And I never put them on my myspace because I'm afraid people would think this is how I really felt, but in actuality, the songs express how I think I should feel. Kinda weird. I don't get too sad, and when I do, it's normally only for a few days at most. Yeah, I go through my funks, but uh...it's no big thing for me. doesn't bother me.


Hey, this year isn't quite over....let's do stuff.